New poem, after 2 months of writers block! Please comment?
Still silence break, let darkness fade away
Dim colour wake and greet the light of day
This sickness grows, this sickness breathes inside
But live I must, to burry what has died
Still silence, move, let words come pouring free
Yet win or lose, I am no longer Me
This sickness grows and fever burns the skin
But stand I must to fight what it may bring
Copyright ©2008 Mona Khaial
I’ve been in writers block for 2-3 months now and it was very frustrating but I was finally able to write something yesturday. Hopefully it wont happen again. Tell me what you think? Thanks.
I’m with allpoetry.com as well but It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything
- mojo2346
Tags: Break, Burry, Darkness, Fever Burns, Mona, Poem, Silence, Writer's Block
January 5th, 2009 at 11:23 am
i love it. … your first line drew me in. i love this part : “Still silence, move, let words come pouring free
Yet win or lose, I am no longer Me” i love it!!! wow! have you ever gone to allpoetry.com ??? thats where i write. you can get alot of feedback on there. but, anyways… you have a great talent…. you penned a great piece.
January 5th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
it could of been better
sorry i’ve heard better
can i have best answer for this please !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ll give you a best answer if you answer my questions
January 7th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Honestly, I think it is short, but it broke your writers block which is all that matters. Don’t say hopefully it won’;t happen again. Its not a question of if, but of when, It happens to all of us. I like this short piece…very nice.
January 10th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Congrats on breaking the writers block!!
I like it.
But skin and bring really doesn’t rhyme.
Nice work:)
January 11th, 2009 at 1:43 am
its the perfect poem to break through your poetic silence. it’s evocative if you read it out loud. i like it. it’s concise but doesn’t need to be longer.
January 12th, 2009 at 1:27 am
I liked your poem and glad you have regained you confidence and you mental block about writing.
I write some myself but do not belong to any group. What I enjoy doing, is look for words or phrases that I really like, in books, news paper etc. I keep a journal of these words and phrases I have found and liked.
I go down the list looking at all the words and all of a sudden I have a poem or a song.
Keep writing it’s fun, rewarding, entertaining, and it keeps your mind sharp.
January 13th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Yippie! Congratulations on breaking the writers block. A little complex for an occasional reader such as myself but nevertheless intriguing.